Today was uneventful. I just took a lame 365 and did some of my journals for English.
I really freaked out when I lost my bean. Apparently my brother stole it and threw it away. I like to look at things for symbolism (thank you a lot Mr.Nieves) and I found it. I tried to find my bean but it was useless. This meaning liking him is useless. It won't go anywhere, so why agonize myself with the thought of the possibility?
I sound so cheesy. Onto other news.
I want a DSLR. I'm just extremely jealous of those people who can afford it and will get it. But I can't unless I trade it up for something else. I'm thinking Christmas and Sweet Sixteen presents should equal a 600$ camera right? I mean, most 16th parties cost a couple of grand.
I probably should stop wasting time on photography. I mean, nothing that I take compares to everyone else. This is my jealousy kicking in. Not even kicking, its like a big ass bomb. I want to be good in at least one thing. ONE THING. It isn't hard to ask right? Maybe it is. Maybe not everyone should be good in a certain thing. But it's not like I'm decent in a broad spectrum of talent either. Like Leonardo da Vinci. Not that I'm comparing myself to da Vinci.
I'm itchy.
My eye is twitching.
It's kind of weird. I was thinking how this time last year I was freaking out about a guy and this year, my crush doesn't even know that I like him or not. Or maybe he does and he doesn't care. I mean, people are telling me that I should just tell him since he doesn't know, but I know he knows. HOW? Hello, look at all the fucking signs. I'm rambling. Ignore my girly stuff.
I'm going to Clara's for two hours tomorrow. I want to go on a rooftop. Hopefully no one falls. I want to take a shitload of pictures tomorrow <3 . I haven't seen all three of them at once in a while. I know I'm going to stay more than two hours but I'm going to TRY not to.
Anyways this is all for now.
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